I want the real thing

09:45 pm

I was listening to Kalapana’s Real thing in my Muvo Vidz. Sabi ko kay Lord, “give me a song. Not just any song, but a song that is for ME.” So I pushed the joystick up and let it browse through the 49 songs in my player (excluding the subfolders). And guess what, when I let go of the joystick, I got the same song - Real thing by Kalapana.

Grabe na ito. I am not in love! My goodness. I had a very very very short relationship with Crush last August but I quickly ended it up as soon as I realized that he is not – as in NOT the right one for me. Grabe, I never thought I would do that. We are still friends though. I convinced him that hindi kami bagay talaga and that we are better off as friends.

I now realize that it is better to be single than to be with someone you don’t love. I am still waiting for the right one to come along my way. Hey! Nasan ka na ba? Bakit ang tagal mong dumating? :)

Sabi ng mga former officemates ko nung nalaman nila nangyari, baka daw pagsisihan ko ginawa ko kasi daw I am not getting any younger, matanda na daw ako. If there is another lesson that I learned from this recently ended relationship it is that 27 is not yet old. I am still young and until I think of myself as old, I will not be old.

Now I do not have to let go of anything because (in the first place) I did not choose to hold on to anything. And I am ok with it.

~~~

11:03 pm

hmft! war kami! kala ko we're ok as friends!
hmft! mega tampo na naman! hmft! >:(

Dear Crush

Hi! I haven’t seen you for almost a week now. How are you? I hope you’re ok. I just wanted to thank you (and your mom) for making me feel beautiful for the past few months now. I was wondering two weeks ago when this will end. I guess now is the right time to put a stop to this temporary madness. But I thank you for making me feel alive again. Even for just a moment. We’re so much alike. From what I’ve learned from you (through casual conversation) we are both in love with the traditions of our culture and our religion. We both like learning new things - you are the teacher and I am the student. I like learning new things from you. It’s just so nice to know that for once in my life, I met somebody who’s in love with what I love. Pati nga sa flavor ng biscuits pareho tayo ng gusto. But I guess I’ve been sending wrong signals. Am I really sending you wrong signals? Am I really pushing you away? Probably. But maybe you just don’t like me enough. As plain as that. I don’t know. All I know is that I like you. Dito ko na lang sinusulat. I will never have the guts to say these things to you. I don’t know if you’ll ever read this. I hope not. When I reviewed my list, you qualified and were able to meet at least 80% of my standards. Funny you thought of them as too high. Anyway, it’s done. I’ll just do what I always do. I’ll be my usual self. I’ll be quiet and aloof. I’m good at it you know. Ganun yata talaga. I probably haven’t met “him” yet. I’ll wait as I’m waiting for the past two years now. I just pray to God to always give me hope. Katulad din ng pinagdadasal mo. Sana din mameet ko na siya. I’ve been waiting for him for so long now. I hope he’ll love me enough to like me. I hope… Yun lang po. Mwah.

Holy week activites

April 5
Maundy Thursday
Bisita Iglesia
with SFC Bicutan



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April 6
Good Friday
Watched the Procession
With Mama and Papa, Inay, Carlo and JepJep



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April 7
Saturday
Sampalok Lake

I went jogging at Sampalok Lake with Boy, Danna, Gian and Mama. Stayed at San Pablo the whole day and played with Carlo.



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April 8
Easter Sunday
Dolores, Quezon

The whole family along with Inay, Jep, Danna and Boy went to Dolores to attend the 7:00am Easter Mass.



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Crush took this shot :)

Hay...

May crush ako.
He’s making my heart jump and grasp at the same time.
Hay… And I can’t do anything about it.
Parang akong high school! Sheeeeeeeeet!

Crush ko na yun dati kaya lang,
I immediately brushed off the feeling.
Hindi ako sanay. He is way beyond me.
And he is strict din. Feeling ko lang.

Basta, kasi when he talks he knows what he’s talking about. Confident eh.
Tapos, he also has this personal relationship with God.
I have a feeling that we talk and relate with Him in the same manner.
Plus his mom has a great taste. :)

Anyway, I’ll see him later. We have a meeting. Yey! Me excited na!

Just writing it down to get it out of my system
I have been doing that since Wednesday last week – getting him out of my system.
Failing and failing still.

Hay…

Oh my God! I’m babbling!