In Your Darkest Hour

by: Mark Lopez & Paulo Tirol

In your darkest hour, did you see Me?
In your deepest sorrow, did you feel My comfort?
In your loneliness, did you take My outstretched Hand?
Your darkness is Mine too, and your sorrows I do share,
In your brokenness, My child, I am there.

In your time of pain, I embraced you,
Soothed your wounded spirit, whispered words of courage,
Led you by the hand when you knew not where to go.
For your darkness is Mine too, and your sorrows I do share,
In your brokenness, My child, I am there.

And My Hand shall never leave you.
You are Mine, My child.
Cast your load upon Me and rest your weary heart.
As is now and will always be: I am there.
And My Light shall never fail you.
You are Mine, My child.
I bring you a new day to renew your life and hope.
May you always remember, My child, I am there,

That in your darkest hour, you will see Me.
In your deepest sorrow, you will feel My comfort.
In your loneliness, you will take My outstretched Hand.
For your darkness is Mine too, and your sorrows I do share,
My child, I am ever there.

When again that hour comes,
When again the night sets in,
I am ever there, My child, and the dawn again I'll bring!

There are times when life tests us, when it seems as if we are desperately lost. And yet, we recall the Eucharistic Prayer that consoles us: "…when we were lost and could not find our way to You, You loved us more than ever."

In this composition by Mark Lopez and Paulo Tirol, we hear the words of a comforting Father who sustains us with His love. He is close to us when we cannot find our way, sharing in our sorrow and in our pain, lovingly waiting for us to see His guiding hand.

After Christmas blues

Arlene hates me. I accidentally dropped her cell phone in a basin full of water :( of course it’s not working. But it was really an accident :( promise…

~~~

Wishes

Ø Birthday wish (December 12, 2004): --
Ø Wishing fountain (November 25, 2004, Eastwood): --
Ø Falling star (December 23, 2004): --
Ø A kiss from a yellow butterfly (December 14, 2004): --
Ø 9-morning masses (December 16 – 23, 2004): I did not complete this. I tried so hard to wake up every morning since the simbang gabi started but on the 9th day, I did not wake up. I cried but I was assured that “God will do the rest” naman.

~~~

Dear you: Hi. Can I ask you a favor? I know for you this is very trivial but can you please, please ask her to stop sending me text messages. I don’t know if you will ever understand why I’m asking you this, pero kung hindi man, nakikiusap at nagmamakaawa ako na huwag niyo na naman akong i-text, please… alam mo naman na hanggang ngayon ay mahal na mahal pa rin kita. Higit pa sa buhay ko. I know her intentions are well but every time kasi na nakakareceive ako ng message from either of you, the world that I am building crumbles down into pieces again. I have no plans of bothering you. Wala kong balak mang-gulo. It’s just that sobrang nahihirapan lang talaga ako. Sobrang hirap na hirap in forgetting you. If only I could teach my heart to stop loving you nagawa ko na. Kaya lang matagal ang processing ng puso ko. I am not angry with you or her. Probably time will come when I can talk to you again pero wag nyo naman akong pilitin na ngayon. Kasi kung ngayon, magmamakaawa lang ulit ako na mahalin mo ako. You see I have to cope up dun sa memories that keep on hunting me. Everything reminds me of you. Tapos dadagdagan nyo pa, baka hindi ko na kayanin. I was begging Him yesterday to please get me na. Hindi ko lang alam kung matutupad yun. But I was really begging Him. Hindi ko na alam dapat isipin. I’m back to hell again -- sleepless nights and all.

My friend told me that we now live in two very different seasons, you being in the summer season and me in the winter. I have not yet seen the end of this very very cold night. I only have my family, friends and Him to light and comfort me in this darkness. Don’t be the wind that blows the light off my candle. Please…

Mood: depressed and weepy and sad and lonely and lost and...

Angels who remembered

Below are the angels who took time to greet me :) during my so-called birthday. They were the ones who lifted me to my feet when I had trouble remembering how to fly:

• Cons: Gud am! Habrday 2 u, habrday, habrday, habrday 2 u! Hehehe wel hope ud hav a wonderful day! :) See us soon! Love u! Mwaah! (11-Dec-04 07:53am)
• Kris: Hapi bertdey guading! :) (11-Dec-04 03:27pm)
• Arlene: […] countdown na, 25 k n wyl im 24 still! :) (11-Dec-04 04:43pm)
• Maciel: Me 2! Super me ng enjoy! M so hapi coz we celebrated ur bday & r frndshp. So frm now on dpt we regularly c each othr evry mo, atlist. Thanks best friend! :) (11-Dec-04 08:19pm)
• Kris: […] Hehe. Bukas pa nga, hapi bertday n rn mamya! (11-Dec-04 10:08pm)
• […] 9110439: Happy 25th Birthday!!! (11-Dec-04 11:47pm)
• Arlene: Hapi hapi hapi bertdey!!! Mmmwah! (12-Dec-04 12:18am)
• Maciel: Happy birthday my dearest bestfriend! M stl awake. Jaz watched brkfst @ tfnys. :) Love u bestfriend!! (12-Dec-04 2:18am)

Maciel called me at round 2:22am (12-Dec-04)

• Maciel: Sweet dreams! Njoy ur day, n a fw hrs u cn clbr8 it w/ ur fmly. God Bless. (12-Dec-04 2:28am)
• Emily: Happy birthday!!! ;o mwahz (12-Dec-04 06:07pm)
  Cons: Gud am! Habrday 2 u, habrday, habrday, habrday 2 u! Hehehe ngayn tama n. Hav a wonderful day! Mwaah! :) (12-Dec-04 06:44pm)
• Jeff: Happy b-day we love you muahhh…. (12-Dec-04 07:30am)
• Kathy: Happy Birthday! (12-Dec-04 08:15am)
• Lenen: Happy birthday. Wel talk soon. I mis u (12-Dec-04 09:09am)
• Gello: Happy b day ate happy b day 2 u happy b day 2 u I love u. (12-Dec-04 09:10am)
• Ms. Tats: Hi guada, hapi hapi bday :) may all your birthday wishes come true. Enjoy d day (12-Dec-04 10:12am) – me, baby and ronald
• Tess A: Happy birthday!!! (12-Dec-04 10:14am) – me and mike
• She: Hapi bday my friend! Enjoy ur bday! May u find d true luv n happiness in a person hu truly luvs u! hapi bday! :) (12-Dec-04 10:35am)
• Ms. Wena: Happy birthday :) (12-Dec-04 10:37am)
• Tito Dan: Gud am, Happy b-day. (12-Dec-04 11:03am)
• Ate Baby: Hapi-bday! (12-Dec-04 12:57am)
• Hazel: Guads hapi bday… miss u. (12-Dec-04 1:14pm)
• Nangni Bing: Guada inaanak happy happy birthday po! May ur special day b a most blessed day. :) Enjoy po! :) God loves us :) (12-Dec-04 1:28pm)
• Tess Z (all the way from Singapore): Hapi bday girl! Wish u happiness and peace of mind. :) (12-Dec-04 4:24pm)
• Cha: happy, happy, happy birthday! :) God bless you always! Miss u na. Mwahz! :) (12-Dec-04 5:44pm)
• Weng: Hi girl, I won’t let d day end w/o greeting u. Here’s a wish dat u b happier and more blessed… happy birthday, my dear friend! :) (12-Dec-04 6:18pm)
• Gian: ate, hapi bday.. (12-Dec-04 6:41pm)
• Loids: Even without seeing you, even without saying a word, even without sending messages, I never fail to remember you. Wish you happiness. Happy birthday Guads! (12-Dec-04 21:48pm)

Maciel took the time to ask how my birthday was :)

• Michelle: hi, Ms. Guadz! I juz want 2 grit u a hapy bday. Alwz tkcre. God bles nd gudnyt. (12-Dec-04 11:21pm)
• Ice: Ate guada, hapi hapi birthday! Sana umapaw pa ang kaligayahan at kagandahan mo ngayon taon, at sa mga susunod pa! :) ingat ka lagi. (12-Dec-04 11:27pm)
• Mej: hi! Partner! Hapi bday 2u! more 2 come.. mis u! God bless. (12-Dec-04 11:47pm)
• Ate Vic: Bl8d hapi bday, guadidie! (13-Dec-04 08:27am)
• Jaike: (picture of an angel) m ur Angel Fairy! I’ll b d fairy 2 pray dat ur wishes do come true. Hapi birtdey :) mwaahh. God bless u. (13-Dec-04 06:11pm)
• Mila: 2day I wish u a day of miracles, a day of little things to smyl about; I wish a day of happiness, with peace and love in ur heart. HAPPY BDAY, girl! Mwah! (15-Dec-04 10:28pm)

~~~

Message for the day:

As you start a new day, look at the world around you. Fill your heart with gladness and your mind with thoughts that are life giving. As you celebrate Sunday, dwell on how you’ve experienced God’s faithfulness in your life. Celebrate His faithfulness by filling your heart with songs and by letting your spirit sing of God!

~~~

I did not want this day to come – in fact it frightens me. I was hoping that when I sleep on the 11th I would just wake up on the 13th na. Of course it did not happen. I still woke up on the 12th BUT I had fun with my friends and my family. They were there for me and I am very thankful for having them.

~~~

Today is Papa's 50th birthday!

Dear God, please grant him and mama good health and long life. Thank you very much! Mwa!

Swollen cheek

My right cheek is swollen.

Please note that the linking verb I used in the above sentence is in its present form. Meaning until now, it is still swollen.

Who’s the culprit?

My dentist and her friend dentist.

Last week my dentist prescribed that my impaction be surgically removed.

Dental impaction: Teeth pressing together. For example, molar teeth (the large teeth in the back of the jaw) can be impacted, cause pain and require pain medication, antibiotics, and surgical removal.

So, trusting that she knows what she’s doing, I gave her the go signal to contact her friend dentist to execute the operation.

Saturday: for two hours – without rest – friend dentist worked on/in (whatever) my mouth to be able to remove the hidden teeth. I can feel my mouth being stretched to its limit and being harassed at the same time. grrrr!

Sunday: Mama and Papa woke me up early to attend mass with them. I readily got out of bed kaya lang my teeth/gums hurt so much that, as silly as it may seem, I cried in front of the mirror – feeling ko kasi, hindi na babalik yung dating size ng cheeks ko :( Of course now I know how silly the crying part was but what can I do? My very vain brain always work over time during weekends. :)

Anyway, I went back to bed missing (again – good grief! – sigh) the 2nd Sunday of Advent’s mass :(

~~~

Yesterday was Tzie's birthday. I think she's 22 years old na if I’m not mistaken. I sent her a text message to greet her a very happy birthday :)

Advent season

Sad me.

I suddenly remember that last Sunday was the First Sunday of Advent and I wasn’t able to hear the mass.

Hay… I’m a very lousy catholic :(