Hi! How are you? Where are you now? I hope you are happy and in the best condition.
We missed you last October 5. Well, I hope you were watching us the whole time. :) Everybody was there, si Cha lang ang kulang because her baby was sick.
Saturday night, I met Kris at San Pablo Jollibee. Imagine? Kris at San Pablo, well that was new. :) Anyway, you know what it was like out there. Everybody’s running around at the counter, and as usual some of the crew members were masungit. I remember you working there before you graduated from College. You used to tell me that you will never ever mix the left over condiments with the left over drinks kasi kawawa naman ang crew. :) Most likely you were laughing at me that time, reminiscing and all. Kris remembered you in one of your subject where you tested the Jollibee spaghetti and sundae for E. cola. Kris and I were laughing the whole time while we’re waiting for Arlene. She could not leave early because she’s with E :). She had her hair curled and I was so inggit because it was so nice on her.
Anyways, we eventually had to tell her to follow us to your house because it’s getting late. Almost all of your relatives were there. It was so nice to see all of them again. Tita Coring was there waiting for Goldie. Kuya Delon was there, arranging everything. Kuya Richmond was there trying to lighten things up although, it was so apparent that he’s dying inside. Sam was also there. That nephew of yours was so sweet and guwapo ha. It’s a pity he will never grow up with you by his side. I know you will spoil him to death. :)
That night, while looking at you, I cried so hard for a while. I cried because I remembered how inseparable we were in college. In everything and in anything it was always “us”. But through the years we drifted apart. I was blaming you for the “separation”. I know you blame me for some things also. With that said, I was really surprised when Rey asked me to give you a eulogy on behalf of our friends. I was really surprised at the same time thankful because in a way I felt forgiven for not attending your wedding.
My only worry that time was the next-day meeting with Mark and his wife, Dani. I dreaded meeting them. Earlier that week, I was ranting at my boss about how insensitive and dense Mark was for planning to bring his wife. And my boss, the rational man that he was, explained to me that it is but right for him to bring his wife. Anyway, the next day, I was both tense and worried. Tense because, I was to be the facilitator/mc of your necrological program and worried because I’ll be meeting them (Mark and Dani) after four long years.
Sabi ko na lang kay Lord earlier that week: “Lord, I will be facing this head on but give something to look forward to after ha?” And guess what? Hours after that prayer, one of our outstanding soldiers in TOPS invited us to a tour at Sangley Point in Cavite City. Astig noh? :)
Anyway, on my most dreaded day, except for the fact that you were not there, everything went well. As in very well! I was able to make peace with Mark and Dani. Imagine after four years of being angry at them and with the world for being “so unfair” to me, I suddenly realized that I can now let go. Of all the hurts, the anger, and the self pity that I ever had to carry for so long, I just found my self letting them all go. And it felt so wonderfully light and sweet. Hay, Len, how I wish you were there to witness everything. Truly, there is a season for everything. :) And then I found this:
Forgiveness is almost a selfish act
because of its immense benefits
to the one who forgives.
~ Lawana Blackwell
Now, I can tell God that I am ready not only for a “new season” but for a “New Program”.
Yun lang muna, Len. I hope to see you again some time in the future, when I have fulfilled my purpose here on Earth. I am just lifting everything up to Him there. Please tell Him how much I love Him. I hope someday somehow, you’ll be able to forgive me for all my shortcomings. I’ll be telling my kids about you. Mwah!
Love lots,
Jing
