When we need love the most

Author unknown

A university instructor posed a riddle to her graduate education class. "What has four legs and leaves?" she asked, hoping the students would realize that by considering alternative meanings to the words "legs" and "leaves" that they could arrive at the solution -- a table. However, one woman unexpectedly answered, "My last two boyfriends." Maybe you can relate.

People will leave relationships for any number of reasons and sometimes they should, for not every friendship has a healthy future. Some well-intentioned people come together in heat and passion and all that is left of the union when the fire goes out is a pile of ashes. Others bring along so many destructive problems and behaviors that a happy relationship has no chance of long-term survival.

But what about when friends, lovers or family bolt from the relationship at just the wrong time? After all, those we want to love are not always "lovable" or easy to get along with! Is a temporary lapse into craziness reason enough to run?

Author John Gray sometimes tells about a young mother who asked her visiting brother to get her some pain pills. He forgot and, when her husband returned home, she was upset and in pain -- more than a bit crazy. He experienced her anger as a personal assault and exploded in defense. They exchanged harsh words and he headed for the door.

His wife said, "Stop, don't leave. This is when I need you the most! I'm in pain. I've had no sleep. Please listen. You are a fair-weather friend. If I'm sweet, you're okay; but if I'm not, out you go!" And then tearfully, and more subdued, she said, "I'm in pain. I have nothing to give. Please hold me. Don't speak...just hold me." He held her and neither spoke -- until she thanked him for being there.

It is easy to love those who are at their best. But it is during those times we are unlovable that we may need love the most. And what a beautiful thing when we get it. And even more beautiful when we find the grace to give it.

~~~

I've wanted to share this article for the longest time. Tapos it slipped my mind, tapos nawala, tapos nakita ko ulit kaya po ngayon ko lang nai-post. :)

Let me focus on the last three paragraphs – on the availability of a person to respond to the need of another person.

I've read it somewhere that the best gift anyone can give is his/her gift of time. When a person loves somebody he/she would be available for that person no matter what. It is making time when there is none. Making oneself available, or the thought of "just being there," may not only mean that you will always be there for him/her physically. A listening ear or even a warm hug, for example, can mean so much to someone who is in need. It can be a very good expression of love.

Fr. Elpi, during last Sunday's 8am mass, mentioned that one of his parishioners shared her problems with him. Due to the weight of the problem, he did not and could not say anything. He just kept quiet. In the end, the woman thanked her for listening, for just being there.

Sometimes we just need to be assured that we are not alone in this world and that somehow there is somebody who will be there for us whenever we need them the most. Especially whenever we are in our most unlovable state.