Four thoughts for Friday

Sources:
First row: "Lord I Just Keep Running in Circles" by Ruth Harms Calkin pp. 11 & 41
Second row: "Amusing Grace" by Rosanne C. Romero pp. 33 & 34

O dear Lord For so long I have been praying Pleadingly, fervently Day after wearisome day Yet the heavens are as solid brass. You have closed your ears To my desperate cry. Why, Lord? Why? Don't You love me any more? Dear wayward child When will you understand That praying Is never a substitute For obeying.	O dear God I feel as though I am clinging To a rough, swinging rope. Beneath me there is only emptiness. My hands are bruised and bleeding. There is no possible way For me to tie a knot At the end of the rope And hang on. O God, please help me. Frightened child Just let go. I'll catch you.
My head doesn’t feel. That’s why it’s always easier to talk to. My heart, on the other hand, can be more complicated. It doesn’t believe what my head says. Not right away. So you see, I’ll be fine. But it’ll take a while.	So that all my being – all my mind and all my heart, may know if there’s anyone I can lean on and who will never tire, it is He. If there’s anyone who loves me all the time, it is He. And that if anyone is the keeper of my soul, it is He.

Stars

When the stars are twinkling, an angel awaits your prayers.
~Kathryn ScheinFrom "Angels Around Us"

~~~

My interest in stars started when my grandmother died. It was my cousin who introduced them to me. Every night, during the wake of my lola, he would point out the big dipper and we would stare at it until our neck ached. From then on, every night, whenever I have the chance, I look up to locate the big dipper.

~~~

Star light
Star bright
First star I see tonight
I wish I may
I wish I might
Have the wish
I wish tonight

This was later on followed by an incident where my Inay (my other grandmother) told a story about a little girl who saw a falling star and made a wish that came true.

~~~

One of St. Ignatius of Loyola’s deepest, most moving prayer experience was simply contemplating the stars. Looking at the night sky filled Ignatius with God’s powerful presence... (Sun Cell, 2346)

As I grow older, stars became more than just a “wishing” star. They have become a symbol of hope, that whenever I see them in a very dark night, I know that they would continue to give light no matter how far I perceived them to be.

~~~

I still believe that a wish would come true whenever one sees a falling star.

As in!

I really really really REALLY want to travel! As in really really really REALLY want to see the whole Philippines! From Batanes to Tawi-tawi. Then the whole world!

But how? c”,)

My past life

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Banished Fortune Teller. Where You Lived: Greece. How You Died: Buried alive.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

People see me as...

Slow and Steady

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment. They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.

How Do People See You?

:'(

Acording to Ms. Tata (my former boss):
Prayers can heal all wounds

According to Manay (Ms. Tata's sister):
Pray unceasingly

naisip ko lang, gaano kadami kayang prayer and kailangan kong gawin ngayon? :'(

Rambling # 1

(seems to me that i'll be having a lot of rambling thoughts pa in the future. So I might as well start numbering them)

I did not get rich over the weekend; I just decided to do some adjustments on my budget. Because when I saw it on its launching day, I cannot tear myself away from it, not even for a day - so I bought it.

I am neither sorry nor guilty for buying a book this expensive :)

So far this 6th Harry Potter is the most expensivest of all my books. You see, I am a “suki” of booksale and second hand shop of books. The thrill of finding very cheap and good books in these shops never fails to amaze me.

As usual, I cheated, I read the last few pages and sad to say, someone will die. Someone very important will die. Who? Nah, I believe it is best not to say it here. But like Sirius, who died in book five, he’s someone lovable and played an important role in Harry’s life. Who killed him? Voldemort? Nope. The Half Blood Prince killed him. Ok, ‘nuff said.

~~~

My Taluts is pregnant. Everybody’s happy hearing the news that she’s on her way :) Magkakaroon na rin ng kapatid si Gello boop. Good for him :) Cheers!

~~~

Sadly, one of my batch mates in high school died. He is the eldest son of our principal. From what I’ve heard, while inside the bathroom, he slipped and bumped his head. This later on caused some kind of blood clot then he fell into a coma. He died after a few hours. He was laid to rest last Sunday. Please pray for his soul.

Incidentally, I saw an earthworm last night. It was a red, thread like moving thing that scared the hell out of me. Never thought I could move when I saw it let alone kill it. But I did. I ran away from it and poured a kettle-full of boiling water onto it. So I guess (hope) I killed the little thingie.

Call me morbid, but when I die, please donate all the organs that are still working and then cremate me. I don’t want worms feasting on my body.

~~~

One good thing that happened last Sunday was that I was able to be with my other barkada. I saw Tess, Pebbles, Joan, and Raciel. Tess, Joan and Pebbles were my classmates in elementary. We last saw each other, two years ago, during Tess’ wedding day. It was so nice to see them again.

~~~

While inside Mini Stop last night, I came across this verse in the bible:

"It (love) is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."~ 1 Corinthians 13:5 (New International Version - UK)

*sigh* he has a record of every mistake I’ve made.

When I get rich...

I’m going to buy these:

1. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince (Book six in the Harry Potter series)
2. Ryan Cayabyab: The Silver Album
3. Friends VCD/DVD (all 10 seasons of them)
4. Memory card for my digicam

When I get super rich, I’m going to buy these:

1. Laptop
2. Palm pilot (tungsten T3 or zire 72)
3. Xerox machine

~~~

This made me smile :)

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?"

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."

"Oh," said the man, "Whose clock is that?" "That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie." "Incredible," said the man.

"And whose clock is that one?" St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."

"Where's Gloria Macapagal Arroyo's clock?" asked the man. The Philippine President's' clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

Panic!

Some people do things better if they are being pressured, some do not exhibit the same reaction when put under stress. Most of the time, I belong to the first group. But today the second group decided to include me in their very prestigious *sarcasm intended* organization. And clumsy Guada strikes again!

The supplement I was lay outing for almost a week now just disappeared in front of my eyes. I don’t know what happened or what button I pressed, it just wouldn’t open! To make the pressure a little bit heavier, the MB Advertising Department called to inform me that they could only give me an hour to be able to include it for tomorrow’s issue!

Fortunately, I saved another copy in my officemate’s computer else; consider me a dead duck tomorrow afternoon. Relieved? Not yet. The said computer’s already on it’s way to Manila Hotel (we are transporting all the computers there for our two-day annual scientific meeting starting tomorrow till Thursday). Buti na lang Ms. Cha (to whom I promised a box of Wonka NERDS – hay… the prize of being enks! – if everything went well) was there to save my butt. The supplement was successfully forwarded to the MB office for lay outing/printing after 45 min.

Relieved? Now, yes. Thank you very much. :)

A promise

Saturday night. My task – done.

I’ve talked to him and he told me that he would stop seeing her. He promised. I made him promise because I have the right to ask him to do so. And since this is the only journal I have (no notebook/s anymore) I going to write it down so I won’t forget. No - I don’t think I will ever forget.

Basta, I’m holding on to his promise. Naku, sana naman talaga… magagalit talaga ako pag hindi natupad yun :-/

Turmoil

My usual practice whenever I am bothered is to sit down and just tell Him everything. No formality whatsoever, just plain, storytelling. Like He’s just beside me. It works for me kasi when I do that I pray na rin at the same time.

I’ve read it somewhere that real worship is being in love with Jesus. And being in love for me means telling Him everything – personally.

But I have something to confess. I have not talk to Him since Tuesday. Lagi ko lang sinasabi, “Lord, sad ako.” Yun lang. I don't want to elaborate. Probably because I am so very busy these past few days. Up to this moment, hindi pa ako nagkukuwento. At parang ayoko nang magkuwento…

Sana lang maging maayos na ang lahat. I have to do something I hate this weekend. It has something to do with my obligation of being the eldest child. I do hope you pray for me. I will need strength. I am so afraid.

Hearts breaking

Goodbye
There's a word I've hated
All my life
Unanticipated tears
Can hurt so much
My friend

It's so sad to see you
At love's end
I've been through the pain myself
It's really wrong
To play it strong

Go on and cry
'Till you run dry
It's alright
Go on and scream
At broken dreams
It's alright


Minsan naiisip ko sana wala na lang ako puso. I can definitely handle the physical stress caused by my work but when it comes to the emotional pressure, I am so very week.

Once, Arlene told me that she is an empath with a weak heart. Ako, I am an empath with a very very weak heart. I don’t know until when will I last.

It was only yesterday when I realized that I could still handle additional pain/burden. And I bleed… I bleed more than ever now. Not for my self this time. But for the one person whom I love the most... :'(

Raging storm

If I ever had a line to heaven I swear
I'd call you there
And if I ever had a line to heaven I swear
I'll be there tonight.

Magsusumbong ako sa Lola Baning at Lolo Lope ko...

:'(

Random thoughts

Busy! Busy! Busy!
Can’t even post anything worth reading.

~~~

July 3, 2005

Ang galing! The Universe (a term borrowed from Arlene) never fails to surprise me every weekend :)
Kala ko magrerest muna Siya kahapon kasi I have so many things to do and yet...!
Hay, surprise! Surprise! ;)

~~~

As a follow up to this post: I have to say, I had fun :)

~~~

BTW, ‘twas my mama’s birthday last Friday! :)
Happy birthday to the most loving and beautiful mama in the whole wide world!
mwa! love you!

~~~

Reminder to self: Study Session next week.
Please! Please! Be ready!
Do all the assigned tasks!
Please! *begging tone*

~~~

one step forward
two steps backward
three steps away
one step back...

sa dami na ng steps, i'm not sure anymore kung ilan na.
basta, I have this strong feeling na naka 1 step forward na ako.
a very precious step... :)