Palm Sunday in Bicutan

Taken during the 10:00am mass at the Our Lady of the Holy Rosary, Lower Bicutan, Taguig City

Hay...

May crush ako.
He’s making my heart jump and grasp at the same time.
Hay… And I can’t do anything about it.
Parang akong high school! Sheeeeeeeeet!

Crush ko na yun dati kaya lang,
I immediately brushed off the feeling.
Hindi ako sanay. He is way beyond me.
And he is strict din. Feeling ko lang.

Basta, kasi when he talks he knows what he’s talking about. Confident eh.
Tapos, he also has this personal relationship with God.
I have a feeling that we talk and relate with Him in the same manner.
Plus his mom has a great taste. :)

Anyway, I’ll see him later. We have a meeting. Yey! Me excited na!

Just writing it down to get it out of my system
I have been doing that since Wednesday last week – getting him out of my system.
Failing and failing still.

Hay…

Oh my God! I’m babbling!

I Know Him By Heart

Vonda Shepard
Paul williams and Jon Vezner

Theres a secret path I follow
To a place no one can find
Where I meet my perfect someone
I've kept hidden in my mind
Where my heart makes my decisions
till my dream becomes a vision
And the love I feel
Makes him real someday

Cause I know he's out there somewhere
Just beyond my reach
Though I've never really touched him
Or ever heard him speak
Though we've never been together
We've never been apart
No we've never met
Haven't found him yet
But I know him by heart

Am I living an illusion?
Wanting something I can't see
If I compromise, I'd be living lies
Pretending he's not meant to be
Cause I know my hearts worth saving
And I know that he'll be waiting
So I'll hold on and I'll stay strong till then

Cause I know he's out there somewhere
Just beyond my reach
Though I've never really touched him
Or ever heard him speak
Though we've never been together
We've never been apart

No we've never met
Haven't found him yet
But I know him by heart
No we've never met
Haven't found him yet
But I know him by heart

Farewell

Dear Jena,

I have so many things to say but I haven’t had the time to fix my thoughts yet. So kwentuhan na lang kita, even though I know that you know what has been going on since last week.

They asked me to give a simple eulogy on behalf of your Ina and Ama. Your brother, Jeric, was given a beautiful and touching funeral and we, your cousins, also want you to have one. Marielle bought half of those balloons. She was probably hoping that you would see how beautiful they were up there. Rafael Troy, my inaanak, was scolding Daniel Troy for not “properly” taking care of you (they were both 8 years old). Jayjay, Gian, Patrick and Boy stayed up late for several nights just to sit beside you. Gello, Mae-mae and Dana begged their parents to let them miss classes to be with you and many others. You know how our family copes during time of crisis.

After expressing gratitude to those who came to give their sympathies and prayers, I told them a little something about you. I told them about your preference for beautiful things. Although it came as no surprise since you were also a beauty yourself.

I told them about our discussion during one of your chemo sessions. The one where you said, “Ate, siguro may dahilan ang Diyos kung bakit ako may sakit ng ganito, ano?” You didn’t know how surprised I was when I heard that from you. I wasn’t used to discussing God’s plan with any of our cousins least alone with you. Well, at least not yet, until you made that statement.

I have always believed that God made us for a reason. I am glad that before you left, you became aware that God has this wonderful plan for each and every one of us. In a way, I envy you. You have already fulfilled your purpose and you have done it with flying colors. Samantalang ako, I am still looking for my purpose. Still wondering why God made me.

Sabi nga nila, mourning is for the living. We mourn for ourselves. We mourn because we will not be seeing you for quite a while. We mourn because we will miss you so much. On the other hand, I am very happy for you. I know how you love life but wherever you are right now, I am sure you’re happier because you’re already home.

We thank God because he has given us the chance to know and be with you during your stay here on earth. I know you are up there somewhere watching over us. Please hug Lolo Ciano and Jeric for us. Au revoir. We love you so much. See you in our dreams.

Love,

Ate

Dear Jena

Hi. I do not want to ask you how you are doing right now simply because I know that you’re not fine. I don’t know if you are aware but your ate is a coward. Since our talk last December, after I got out of the hospital, I know that your health is deteriorating. I cannot bear witnessing that because I have this image of you being a strong and healthy young lady. I know you since you were born. We grew up together. We may not have the same outlooks in life or follow the same fashion statement, but I know that we are closer than close.

I have always admired your guts, your will and your single mindedness. Alam mo ba yun? Minsan lang kitang nakitang umiyak before ka nagkasakit. Natatandaan mo ba yun? I’ll always remember that. Kasi dun ko nakita that you’re also human. Isang beses lang and I know that I couldn’t bear seeing more. Yet when you got sick, I have been a witness to a dozen more maybe. Inay and Taluts and your Ina have witnessed much more than that. I hope you understand that I am weak. You may have noticed that lately every time I see you, I shed tears. I cannot even look at you without crying. You do not know how much I hurt just seeing you in pain.

I have always asked God to give me healing hands. Para I can cure sick people. I don’t know if He has given me that though I’m still praying for it. I’ve always prayed for you to be healed completely. Now I’m loosing hope. I do not know what to ask God anymore. I am torn as to whether to pray for your complete healing or just pray for you to be with Him. Because I know that with Him, you will be free from all the pains you’re experiencing now. In the end I just prayed for His will to be done.

I miss you so so very much. Everytime I see young ladies who are so vibrant and cheerful, I remember you. I remember you in their smiles and in their girly features. I wish I could see you in that state again. The one where you are so knock-out fashionable and so mataray and so snobbish looking. I wouldn’t mind, promise. Because I know deep inside you have a super soft heart and a super sensitive nature. I wish we could talk and discuss again about anything under the sun – about our loves and crushes, about our other cousins who are so super malalandi (according to our and Taluts standards), about our family, and about our life. Anything.

I still pray for your complete healing. I don’t think I can stop praying for that. For whatever answer He will give us, always remember that I love you so much. So so much. We will always love you.

Love,

Ate

Dig this!

In a span of three months, two people asked me to be their Maid of Honor. One is to be married on July 28 and the other one is tentatively scheduled in December.

Who am I to refuse? Ayt?

My answer to both: "I'd be very happy to be your Maid of Honor"

:)

~~~

I heard baby Carlo just had his hair cut. :) will post pictures here next week.

House addiction

HOUSE, M.D.
Season 1, Episode 5: DAMNED IF YOU DO
Original Airdate on FOX: December 14, 2004

Chase: It’d be better if you don’t have any visitors. Once we isolate what’s causing your allergy, then we can be a little more lax. [Sister Augustine turns away from the window and starts to cry.] I can pray with you.

Sister Augustine: I want to die. Why has He left me?

Chase: I was in seminary school. They asked us once what our favorite passage was. I chose 1 Peter 1:7. “These trials only test your faith to see whether or not it is strong and pure. Your faith is being tested as fire tests gold and purifies it.”

Sister Augustine: “And your faith is far more precious to the Lord than pure gold; so if your faith remains strong after being tested, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day of His return.”

Chase: He hasn’t left you. The only thing in the way of your knowing if he’s left you is your fear. You have a choice: faith or fear. That’s the test.

Sister Augustine: Do you think faith doesn’t mean I won’t die?

Chase: It will affect how you experience your death, and therefore your life. It’s up to you.

Sister Augustine: Why did you leave seminary school.

Chase: A test. You passed. I didn’t.

~~~

Sister Augustine: When I was 15, I was on every kind of birth control known to man, and I still got pregnant. I blamed God. I hated Him for ruining my life, but then I realized something. You can’t be angry with God and not believe in him at the same time. No one can. Not even you, Dr. House.

~~~

Sister Augustine: You told me your favorite passage. Would you like to hear mine? [Chase nods]. “Celebrate and be glad, for your brother was dead and is alive again.”

Chase: The prodigal son.

Sister Augustine: He’ll be waiting for you when you’re ready.

~~~

Two of my most loved men in the world: Carlo and my father

Myoclonic jerk

I learned this from Dr. House (Season 1, Episode 2):

Myoclonic jerk - very common when falling asleep. Respiration rate falls, and the brain someties interprets this as the body dying, so it sends a pulse to wake it up.

~~~

People often accuse me of being naïve. Wala tayong magagawa dyan, I like happy endings eh. So I believed James Yap when he said that he loves Kris Aquino (watched them at Rated K last night).

Post ko na lang din dito pag nagbago na belief ko.

Don't be afraid to ask

Background

I slept at around 8 pm last night to be able to wake up after an hour or two to study. You see, my brain functions well in the wee hours of the evening/morning. So at around 10 pm, I literally had to drag myself out of the bed to start working on several assignments.

At around 11:30 pm I was exhausted... of staring at my computer. I haven’t finished anything yet. I decided to rest :) – wala pa nga nagagawa, rest na agad! Anyway…

I turned on the TV and saw Bo Sanchez preaching. That was my first time to watch him preach and I would like to share with you what he imparted. The topic was really appropriate and timely and he delivered it very well. I just hope you won't get bored reading this.

Ok, let’s start? Game!

Bo’s topic for February 21, 2007: “DO NOT BE AFRAID TO ASK”

As a prelude to his discussion, he mentioned that on the first day of his first visit to the US, as an invited speaker, he ate biscuits alone during lunchtime. Without knowing that there was a banquet prepared for speakers, he sat in a corner and ate his “baon”. Luckily, on the second day, one of the hosts found him in his corner (eating biscuits) and invited him to join the rest of the honored guests to the banquet. He was so “nanghihinayang” because he was unable to join them on the first day. Because he didn’t know. Because he didn’t ask.

As children of God, we are given the opportunity to ask God for what ever we wanted and needed in life. That is how great our God is. He hears our prayers and if the time is perfect and according to His will, He also provides the answer. However, we do not practice the art of “asking” properly.

Have you ever had the feeling that you are afraid to ask something from Him? I did and still do sometimes. Nakakahiya kasing humingi kay Lord eh. Baka naman sabihin na niya, sobra na ako. Feeling ko kasi, He has given me a lot and yet I am still asking for more. BUT! – take note of the “but” – that is very wrong and Bo provided us with some reasons why humans are afraid to ask.

So, kindly read on:

Reason number # 1: Ignorance
People are afraid to ask because they do not know that they CAN ask and that God allows them to ask.

I would like to quote Bo on this:

Be specific when you pray! Be specific with what you want! The universe is waiting for you to be specific! Have a goal. Have a deadline. The Universe responds to those who know what they want!

He gave out examples:

1. When single people ask for a husband/wife they just pray: Lord, I want a good husband/wife. But the word “good” is very vague! Be specific! Do not go and settle for kung sino-sino lang. Ask the Lord to give you someone who is faithful and kind and etc.
2. When you ask to receive financial blessings, be specific. Don’t just say, Lord, I want “more” money because having an additional 25 centavos or 1 peso is also more than what you have before you ask for “more”.

Reason number # 2: Low self worth
For this part, Bo referred to 2 Kings 2:9-10:

When they had crossed, Elijah said to Elisha, “Tell me what I may do for you, before I am taken from you.” Elisha said, “Please let me inherit a double share of your spirit.”

He responded, “You have asked a hard thing; yet if you see me as I am being taken from you, it will be granted you; if not, it will not.”

According to Bo:

We humans, especially us Filipinos, have very low self esteem. As in very low that if we are to be Elisha, we would probably say, “Naku eh wag na lang, nakakahiya naman!” If forced, we would probably end up saying, “Sige na nga, kahit katiting lang ng blessings na ibinigay ni Lord sa iyo, ok na sa akin.” And to think that Elisha asked for a double of what Elijah had received.

Come to think of it, no one is deserving of God’s love. But we receive all the wonderful blessings we are enjoying now because He loves us so much! That is why we call it grace! All we need is ask, and it will be given to us.

Reason number # 3: Fear
Bo said:

People are afraid to ask because, they are afraid to be criticized by other people. They don’t want to look like arrogant and ingrate.

Reason number # 4: Pride
I guess I don’t have to quote Bo on this part. The word will explain itself.

Reason number # 5: Wrong belief
Bo explored this topic by saying that we were raised believing the following:

1. God is stingy.
The truth is: God is very generous! Look around you and witness his generosity!
2. Following God entails hardship and suffering because God is present in our trials and pains.
The truth is: God is also with us whenever we are happy and experiencing His blessings.
3. The mere act of asking is wrong!
The truth is: God is waiting to be asked. We should ask to receive.

And finally, Bo asked, “How should you ask?” and he answered: with expectancy!

In Mark 11:24 Jesus said:

So I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it and it will be yours.

He said:

Ask like a child. Because children, when they ask for something, expect that it will be given to them. They will find ways to receive what ever it is that they ask.

Yun lang po. :) I hope you feel the same way I did after hearing these things.

It’s already 1:53 am. Wala pa rin ako natatapos. Well, I finished this… so sige na nga! May natapos na ako! Off to work on my assignments again! :)

Have a great day ahead.

*Sniff*

Happy Valentines Day everyone!

I just wanted to share this. :)

Feb fever

It’s Valentines and it’s probably ok to be senti :)

I watched the Wedding Date the other night. My second time to watch said the movie.

My Best friend’s Wedding, on the other hand was on at another channel. Same actor for the role of leading man on both movies.

I used to love My Best friend’s Wedding. I memorized the sound tract of the film.

When I heard this:
From the moment I wake up,
Before I put on my make up,
I say a little prayer for you…

I remembered that I used to pray for him every single day. Thanking God for giving him to me every single day. So it was probably safe to assume that He knew how much I loved him and that He knew what He was doing when He pulled him off my life. Anyway…

A year or so ago I criticized the Wedding Date. Said that it was not that good compared to the Wedding Singer and the Wedding Planner.

Well tonight, I preferred the Wedding Date to My Best friend’s Wedding. I just felt like seeing the leading woman end up with the leading man. Kung baga, I wanted to feel the kiligness.

Someone sent me this text message (sorry, I can’t remember who):
Whenever I see couples kiss and make out, watch romantic movies and hear love songs… I smile and feel good cause I know love still works. If not for me, at least for others. – Ally McBeal

I like the man’s role in the Wedding Date. I like the way he hugged the woman when the woman found out that her sister slept with her (the woman’s) ex.

Wala lang… I missed being hugged. I haven’t had a nice, sweet and tight one for a very long time now.

Yun lang. No more.

And it’s Valentines… I have the right to be senti. Ayt?

~~~

As for Wednesday, we have prepared different activities for the N2D. I’m super excited na. :)

~~~

You are The High Priestess

Science, Wisdom, Knowledge, Education.

The High Priestess is the card of knowledge, instinctual, supernatural, secret knowledge. She holds scrolls of arcane information that she might, or might not reveal to you. The moon crown on her head as well as the crescent by her foot indicates her willingness to illuminate what you otherwise might not see, reveal the secrets you need to know. The High Priestess is also associated with the moon however and can also indicate change or fluxuation, particularily when it comes to your moods.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Hapiverthdey Arlene!

Dear Arlene,

I know, I know! Tomorrow pa ang bitthday mo
but i don't know if you'll be online tomorrow.
And besides, i'm super excited na to greet you.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my bestest friend! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!

Cheers! A very tight hug for you! Mwah!

My Wish
Rascal Flatts

I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
and each road leads you where you want to go,
and if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
if it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,

But more than anything, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but you never forget,
all the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
and you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
and always give more than you take.

But More than anything, Yeah, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish. Yeah.

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

hugs,

Jing-Jing

Favor please

Please offer a simple prayer for the complete healing of my cousin, Jenalyn L. Brion. She has cancer.

Every little prayer that you will offer will be greatly appreciated by me and my family. May the good Lord bless and keep you.

Thank you very much and mizpah.

Simeon's Canticle

Music by: Manoling Francisco, SJ
Arrangement: Paulo K Tirol
Soloist: Celia Uy
Keyboards: Paulo K Tirol

Lord, let Your servant go in peace
For Your Word has been fulfilled.

A Child shall be born to the Virgin,
And His Name shall be called, "Emmanuel."

My own eyes have seen Your salvation
Which You have prepared for all men.

A Light shall reveal to the nations
And the glory of Your people, Israel.

1 Corinthians 13:1-13

2nd Reading Yesterday

1 Cor 12:31—13:13 or 13:4-13

Brothers and sisters:
Strive eagerly for the greatest spiritual gifts.
But I shall show you a still more excellent way.

If I speak in human and angelic tongues,
but do not have love,
I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal.
And if I have the gift of prophecy,
and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge;
if I have all faith so as to move mountains,
but do not have love, I am nothing.
If I give away everything I own,
and if I hand my body over so that I may boast,
but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind.
It is not jealous, it is not pompous,
It is not inflated, it is not rude,
it does not seek its own interests,
it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury,
it does not rejoice over wrongdoing
but rejoices with the truth.
It bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails.

If there are prophecies, they will be brought to nothing;
if tongues, they will cease;
if knowledge, it will be brought to nothing.
For we know partially and we prophesy partially,
but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away.
When I was a child, I used to talk as a child,
think as a child, reason as a child;
when I became a man, I put aside childish things.
At present we see indistinctly, as in a mirror,
but then face to face.
At present I know partially;
then I shall know fully, as I am fully known.
So faith, hope, love remain, these three;
but the greatest of these is love.

Perstaym ito!

There’s always a first time, sabi nga.

Yesterday, I love my officemates. Yes, all of them. Especially the boss. They’ve cushioned a supposedly very hard fall. In fact I was laughing so hard my side ached. Thank you all. :)

Siyempre ngayong umaga, balik na naman sa dati. :)

Oh well. Life.

~~~

Anyway, may mga bago akong friends. :) They are from SEI. Sila mga teachers ko sa badminton. Sila experts, ako... naku super over mega beginner. :)

Newbie

One of the many goals of our community here in Bicutan is to train its members to be evangelizers. St. Magdalene of Canossa once said that we should make Christ known for Him to be loved. I was very eager and excited at the thought that I’d be able to share to other people all the wonderful things that God has given me. Unfortunately, I don’t think I am articulate and skilled enough to do such work. That was why I was so grateful when Ate Miles invited me to be part of the Formation/Education Team.

So last Monday, we had a meeting in preparation for the Wednesday N2D. Five of us were tasked to read something, make a reflection out of it and then share the reflection to the community. I got this:

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet,
enough trials to make you strong,
enough sorrow to keep you human and
enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;
they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past;
you can’t go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying
and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so that when you die,
you're the one who is smiling
and everyone around you is crying.

And I shared this:

One of the very distinct characteristics of being human is our being discontented with life. Lahat tayo ay may hiling, may mga dalangin at may mga inaasamasam sa buhay. May mga mabibigat na panalangin, katulad ng: “Panginoon, sana po pagalingin mo ang pinsan ko” at mayroon din naman magagaan katulad ng, “Lord, sana po makita ko ang crush ko”.

It would probably be safe to claim that each and every one of us has at least one wish everyday. Siguro lang. You can and you may correct me if I’m wrong. Nuong nagtalk si Kuya Shen about our relationship with God, mayroon siyang sinabi na gusto ng Diyos na tumawag tayo sa kanya. Siguro through our prayers and petitions, ipinapakita natin na tayo ay tao at siya ay ang ating Panginoong na makapangyarihan sa lahat.

Ngunit naitanong niyo na ba kung bakit lagi may kulang? Kung bakit lagi tayong naghahangad? Bakit may mga problema? Bakit nga ba?

One of the main reasons why God created us was for us to be with Him. Ang buhay natin dito sa lupa ay pansamantala lamang. Ito ay paghahanda para sa susunod nating buhay – ang mas permanente na kapiling siya. Kung sa buhay natin ngayon ay ibibigay na niya lahat, maaaring hindi na tayo maghangad na makapiling siya sa susunod na buhay. Maaring makuntento na tayo sa buhay na imperpekto.

Tayo ay patuloy na hinuhubog ng Diyos ayon sa kanyang nais, ayon sa kanyang plano at ayon sa kanyang pagmamahal. Hinihintay lang niyang sabihin nating “YES Lord! Go ahead Lord! Mold me according to your will and according to your wonderful promises!

And all shall be well. Thank you.

I never thought that I would be able to pull it through. I was so nervous! Grabe! But I did and it was a great experience. :)

Crappy mood

Since Saturday I’ve been having major “reklamo sessions” with my Lord. Hanggang ngayon, I couldn’t stop ranting and complaining on why things happened that way. I couldn’t stop asking, “why Lord?” My heart keeps on defending Him, my brain keeps on fighting. Katulad ng isang sugat na pinilit hilumin ang ilalim ng puso ko ay patuloy na dumudugo. I’m so sad. I refuse to believe that He understands me. But deep in my heart I know He knows more that I could ever imagine and claim to know.

Thank you for being patient with your little girl. Don’t ever get tired of me.

On Food

I consider food as a sacred thing that people share with other people. Bilang Kristiyano, may paniniwala tayong, “the family that prays together, stays together,” bukod dito ay naniniwala rin akong “the family that eats together, stays together.”

People have different ways of showing their love for someone. I grew up in a family where food sharing is one way of showing love to one another. So, it won’t be a surprise if I adopted it. When you are my friend, or when I like you to be my friend, I will share my food with you and vise versa. I do not eat with someone whom I am uncomfortable with. Yeah sure, I will sit with you in the same table but I will not eat with you. That is one of my simple (and probably weird) rules in life.

The last time I saw him, we ate at McDo. He ordered for both of us, Chicken McNuggets. However, in as much as I want Chicken McNuggets that time, I wasn’t able to get passed through my first bite. I ended up wrapping the McNuggets in a tissue paper for him to take out. That was more than a year ago.

The other day, I sent Crush a sandwich. =D

~~~

Lord, I feel so small sometimes
in this big old place
Yeah I know there are more important things,
But don’t forget to remember me.

Don’t forget to remember me
Carrie Underwood

~~~

If I Stand
Jars of Clay

There's more that rises in the morning than the sun
And more that shines in the night than just the moon
There's more than just this fire here that keeps me warm
In a shelter that is larger than this room

And there's a loyalty that's deeper than mere sentiments
And a music higher than the songs that I can sing
Stuff of Earth competes for the allegiance
I owe only to the Giver of all good things

So if I stand let me stand on the promise that you will pull me through
And if I can't, let me fall on the grace that first brought me to You
So if I sing let me sing for the joy that has born in me these songs
And if I weep let it be as a man who is longing for his home

And there's more that dances on the prairies than the wind
And more that pulses in the ocean than the tide
There's a love that's fiercer than the love between friends
More gentle than a mother's when her baby's at her side

And there's a loyalty that's deeper than mere sentiments
And a music higher than the songs that I can sing
The stuff of Earth competes for the allegence
I owe only to the Giver of all good things

So if I stand let me stand on the promise You will pull me through
And if I can't let me fall on the grace that first brought me to You
And if I sing let me sing for the joy that has born in me these songs
And if I weep let it be as a man who is longing for his home

And if I weep let it be as a man who is longing for home

Relieved

Hay… January pa lang super dami na ng work. Super! Meetings, papers, and business letters everywhere, all of which are/will be used in preparation for the OYS 2nd National Convention and the NAST 29th ASM.

Plus, I’m still in panic mode though I can feel its power over me dwindling. Buti naman! Aba, pano ba naman, I'm 3 weeks late in submitting my thesis proposal. Yup, thesis proposal. Why? Because after 2 months of supposed to be thinking and researching period I still do not have a topic. That was until yesterday, thanks to Joel.

Actually, the gratitude should go first to those who suggested topics weeks ago pa. But since I couldn’t find the devcom angle, I didn’t adopt any of it. So first, thank you to Joseph, who’s always, as in always talaga, willing to help and give out resources - work and studies related. He suggested doing a study related to Mount Banahaw. He gave me the contact info of those who are involved and the website to check for reference. Next on the list is the husband and wife team of Kuya Jim and Loriedel. I emailed Loriedel, she forwarded the message to Kuy Jim, who is a DevCom practitioner and he gave me several topics such as: bird flu awareness campaign in the country, HIV awareness and the likes. Thank you ng madami. :)

So, ok na? Not yet. I still have to start and finish the proposal but the 50% of the work is done. I now know where to start.

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I love Rascal Flatts. Panalo sa lyrics! :)

I found you find strength in your moments of weakness.
For once I am at peace with myself.

“I’m moving on”
Rascal Flatts

Cause when push comes to shove,
you’ll taste what you’re made of
you might bend till you break
cause it’s all you can take,
on your knees you look up,
decide you’ve had enough
you get mad
you get strong
wipe your hand
shake it off
then you stand.

“Stand”
Rascal Flatts

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I’m currently reading a book about teachers. It is supposed to be a love story and I bought it for the very simple reason that I like the cover. Yup, that’s me. I look at book covers. I don’t want those with half naked man and almost naked woman in a very provocative position. I would probably die of embarrassment should you see me reading one of those books. I am not saying that I do not read those books; I do, but definitely not in public. No way man!

Anyway, I found this and I would like to share it with you.

Most of the time, the kids who lash out are just using a teacher for a target because they can’t get at the real ones. Maybe they’ve had a fight with the old man, or they’ve just broken up with the love of the moment, or they’re afraid they’re going to get benched at the next game. It’s not about us. We’re just in the way.

The Wiz
Learning Curve, p. 94

The philosophy does not only apply to teachers. I think it applies to all. In one-way or another, we became the kid who lashes out and in some ways we became the teacher who’s being lashed. When you just get fed up about something and you cannot get the “real enemy” you just pour out the anger at the person closest to you. Sad no? This could go under the heading, “why do we always hurt the ones we love.”

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Crush

I have a crush. After ng may-ari ng tsinelas, may crush ulit ako. :) pero hindi pedeng sabihin kung sino and I don’t think I will ever have the guts to tell anyone about it. As in never. Kaya dito na lang. It will be safer here. No one will know who that person is. I just have to let it out para mawala na rin sa system ko. Hindi kasi puede. I know somebody na may-may gusto rin sa kanya – though gut feel lang. Atsaka basta hindi talaga pwede. I just feel special whenever kausap ko siya (though very seldom). No mushy chenes or whatever, but you will know na nagke-care siya. :) basta, can’t explain. Hard to explain, rather. O ayan, enough said. Sana lang mawala na… para ok. Hay…